I'm so in love with food lately… and travel around looking for food and nice place to visits… after all… life is short so enjoy it~!
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So far yet so close

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Have you ever wonder after all the hard work you have done yet you still didn’t get what you want?

Have you ever wonder there are so many things that you want to achieve yet so hard to reach them?

Have you ever think that you have worked so hard yet still couldn’t see the return?

I have not update my blog for quite sometime as I have been very busy over this period of time.

And… it leads me into thinking, thinking whether all my hard work all this while is it worth it or not.

Too many things happened in such a short time. Too many things for me to cope, too many thoughts for me to digest, too many experience to learn from.

*sigh*

Is it wrong to feel insecure? Is it wrong to be scared? Is it wrong to ask for a confirmation?

Can I really cope with my life? Can I deal with it?

I hope & I wish I can….

November 20, 2011   No Comments

I’m one with energy!

Well… this is how people see me… not I say it one 😛


This morning when I’m in office… as usual I will ask my colleagues whether they will OT… and they all said “NO”… “Tired”… “Bored”…


So I asked another one after lunch time… her ans “Now already feel like going home… how to OT?” >.<


She asked me back : “Can u give me your energy a? How come you don’t feel tired and can still tahan ei?”


I just smiled to her…


It makes me think…. When I said think… I mean really think throughly… hmm….


>> Image source: www.worldgallery.co.uk


I’m glad that she sees me as someone full of energy… and I thanks her for having such thought…


However, the fact is… I’m not such person who full of energy… I’m hoping someone can give me some of their energy as well… I also have my tiring moments where I need friends & family’s care & concern….


I always yern to get energy from others… and the-waiting-for-energy-moment in fact makes me weaker… makes me yern for more energy everyday


A friend once told me.. energy stays within yourselves… it’s your energy that keeps you strong… without your own energy, you are nothing… so when you face any difficulties, you got to face it instead of avoid it & hoping people will give you energy (which obviously many people are like that) … cuz when you face the real deal, the energy in you will makes you a better person. “It” will guide you to another level of your life.


So now… I’m learning not to look for energy from others.. I’ll look it in me… find it.. overcome my fear & failure & tiredness.. turn all those negativeness into a new form of energy..


And I will be refreshed~!


I believed many people often forgot how to slow down in their fast-paced working life… sometimes, take a deep breath & cool down your brain for 5 minutes can actually makes you feel better… Of cuz you got to be really relax.. if your brain still working non-stop, then you won’t even feel relax no matter how long you have rested..


There was once I told a friend to relax… try to imagine himself facing a beach… everything he sees now is just deep blue sea & white sky… 


his replies: Cannot la… I don’t know how to imagine

Me: =______________=\\\


Looking at the picture below… how can you not to be able to imagine.. such a beautiful picture… just close your eyes and imagine… smell the sea breeze… looking at the deep blue sea… holding a fruitail on your hand… wow! I’m in heaven!


Doesn’t this makes you feel better? 😀


>> Image source: www.perthperth.com


Therefore calling for all city people… take a deep breath of your work when you are in tension… rest your mind for just 5 minutes will bring you to a longer journey in your life.


GOD doesn’t create us to be a machine of our life… HE creates Humans! So don’t make your life like a machine. Stop using your brain and listen to your heart. “It” will tell you something amazing when you listen to your heart.


Cheerio all~! 

October 25, 2010   2 Comments

Don’t know what to write

Well… not to say I don’t know what to write… I still got so many pictures no time to resize, add frame, add signatures.. included my recent trip to Cameron with family, sis last dinner at Daorae Tanjung Bungah & also potato pao making session… *sigh*…


Quite down lately… no mood to do anything… everyday reached home felt so tired mentally & physically… seriously no mood to do anything else already..  🙁 


Headache now… can’t even think of what to eat for dinner >.<


Till I can recover from my own emo… I will try to edit my pictures all n post here.

October 12, 2010   No Comments

Been thinking a lot…

I think it’s been weeks since my last post on something emotional… guess when you are too free… you tend to think a lot… a lot of negative thoughts will crawl into your brain automatically…


Hmm….. where should I start? *sigh* too many things in my mind now… don’t know what to do, how to proceed, how to make my own dream come true, etc…


I was never a happy-go-lucky person… I should say I’m a negative person… well… I tried to throw away the negative thoughts… I do… I think everyone will have their own down time once in awhile… as long as you know when you should get up from the down side…


I have a friend… we were once very close when we were in UNI… as there was some incidents happened, she became a different person.. acted differently… so we stopped contacting each other… well… that’s not important anymore… we chatted in msn lately… and she asked about me for what happened to me over the years(basically we haven’t talk for at least 2 years)… erm…. that time I was quite emo… so she told me ” Ivy, you are a very independent person. You always show people the strong you but deep down inside you are not. You just need to clear off your mind and do what you think is right. ”


If you ask me, I never thought to be a very independent person. I’m just a simple girl hoping to go through a simple life. I forced myself to be strong and independent since young because I have no choice. Ever since dad passed away, things have never been easy. *sigh*… I’m thinking of the past again.. which I shouldn’t ….


Back to my emo thoughts on this Sunday afternoon…


Yesterday night I went for movie ~ Salt… it was supposed to be a very good night.. and it was great until I got phone calls in the middle of the show. As I don’t have the phone number in my phone list, I just ignored it. Well… of course you will ignore it especially you are in a movie. After 3 missed calls… I received a sms. I didn’t check it till the show ended.


It was totally a big turned off… I was asked to follow up on my work.. on a Saturday night… and must respond to the person asap. I was like “WTF! It’s Saturday. and even if I really need to check or ask, I can only do so on Monday cuz Sunday all the offices are closed”…


Ya ya… I know work is like that. but because of this I didn’t sleep till 2am… not to say I’m settling my job stuff… but too many things caught in my mind… this incident really made me think a lot…


A lot like what I really want in my life… Ok… basically I know what I want… just that I didn’t make a move on persuing it…


When I’m motivated, I will be very excited to do what I wanted to … but the next day… I will slow down the pace… is like I’m going back to my own comfort zone… many people also like that… rather stay in their comfort zone and don’t move on….


It’s bad… I know. I shouldn’t be. *sigh*


Many times, we thought of what we want and dreamt about it day and might… but when it comes to the real situation, things might be different… it might be the other way round of what we thought…

*sigh*… I’m talking crap whole day d… alright .. time to cut it off. Got to find back the spirit. Tomorrow will be another busy day.


Ok… got to go jogging with mom now! 🙂

August 8, 2010   No Comments

My phone totally failed on me

Arghhhh!!! My stupid phone totally #%^&*%@@#^&**


Last post
I thought it was only the speaker problem… turned out the keypad also got problem…


Arghhh!!! So frustrated…

Now I’m going crazy soon…..arghh!!!

June 14, 2010   No Comments

Enough is enough!

I have been ranting about my life for over the 6 months…. this was never my style…


I changed to be someone totally opposite of my behaviour… changed so much till friends and family members no longer know me… changed to someone I hated so much right now… I guess it is hopeless for me being a human when you hate yourself right?


Thats why… I want to quit all this now… I want to quit ranting over my pathetic life… I’m gona turn a new leaf… get back the previous me … pursue my own dreams … do what I always wanted… time to get a life for my own!


There are so much that I wanted to do and yet to achieve:


1. Plan and work out my online store


2. Learn new skills – I know what I wanted already… keep it a secret now…


3. Dance – Belly dance, latin, etc


4. Keep fit and keep my body slim


5. Practice my knowledge for future use…. (tok = no tok)… lol…


Well…. everything also not yet settle… cannot say out loud ma… I very pantang one.. cuz everytime I tell the whole world my plan… sure my plan won succeed one… >.< very sien one you know!!! So disappointed somemore…. so best I keep to myself… then when I have done it, I only say it out loud… lol… kakakkakakak….


To my friends and family, thanks for all your support all this while… I understand on all the comments/advice you girls have been telling me… I knew it and I know what I should do now… I will not let you all down… just me time to show you all that I can do it…


First thing first… I must smile… get back the cheerful me like before… no more sad sad and emo Ivy d…


I was once told by an important person in my life… he said he want to see the cheerful me… well… I will! I will find back the cheerful me.. so don’t you worry about me… I definitely won’t let myself down and won’t let you + my friends + my family down 🙂


Gambatte Ivy… you definitely can do it!

June 9, 2010   4 Comments

Why so bad luck?!

Updates: My handphone turned out still able to use if I attach it with my handsfree…. so… when wana call out or pick up a call… need to use handsfree…. temp use first la.. wait my financial stable then get a new phone :p


Arghhhh!!! What happened? Why am I so bad luck? ArghhhH!!!!


First was my car battery bullied me….


Now my handphone bullied me as well…. speaker not working… damn it! Last month just changed the ribbon cuz screen black out… now speaker not working… damn it!! Arghhhh…. really want me off my phone forever is it?


Why has to bully me at this time? Already in bad mood, no money d then now give me such trouble somemore….


*sigh* Is this how I’m suppose to proceed with my life? Is this how GOD YOU want me to go through so that YOU can see how pain I am? *sigh*


Why can’t YOU spare some mercy so that I can at least go thru this hard time easier? I know I shouldn’t blame YOU… but can YOU please give me some luck? Some good news… I don’t need jackpot.. but at least don’t add more pain to me at this moment, will YA? I know I have not been a good girl lately… but pleaseeeee :'(

 

June 9, 2010   4 Comments

I’m leaving town!

Yes! I’m leaving town tomorrow night!


But not forever… lol…. I just get away from Penang Island for a short trip down South over this weekend…. cuz Monday is Public Holiday for me… ME! ME! Sher is not in Penang… Lam Lam oso not in KL… Mom, bro-in-law and HP are all working =___=||| super sad…..


Gona spend a lot this weekend… the transportation already cost me a lot…. din include the hotel and food… and also if I cannot tahan then need to shop ler? =___=||| Now only early of the month… my whole month salary gone liao…. die liao….


Totally FML =___=|||


However, I believe I’m going to enjoy myself… I need a break… a break from here…. a break from work…. a break for me to breath in fresh air….


2. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling very well…. woke up pretty early cuz stomach ache… but when it’s time to go to work… stomach back to normal… but then noon time my stomach gets emo already… emo till I nearly fainted and have to rest in my cubicle … =___=|||


*sigh*…. Told Sher about my stomach not feeling well… she said “Is emotion affects your menstrual?” erm…. I don’t know…. but I guess so… last month things were better when I’m in better mood…. this month.. *sigh*… no need to say I also know why my stomach also bully me la ….  🙁


3. Bought a box of fake eye lashes…. just want to try out the effect… I’m sure Sher and SY will be:


 ” Your eyelashes already long enough la. Why need fake eyelashes? ”


“Erm…..I want to look like a doll ma” 😛

 

4. Met up Chiew Hoong yesterday night for dinner… although whatever she said I already knew… but one thing about her impressed me… she are very happy with her life now… and pretty of cuz! I want to be like her… she’s like dai ka che back in my high school.. miss those days…. omfg! It makes me felt so old now =___=|||


5. On a side note, I want to get a new lappie…which brand should I get? I don’t like Acer… erm.. I prefer HP-Compac or Toshiba or Fujitsu…. but all so expensive =___=|||


I need more money!!!

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June 3, 2010   5 Comments